WHICH LANE ARE YOU IN?
One aspect coaching which can yield powerful insights is in the creation of ‘in the moment’ metaphors. Depending on the preferred learning style of a client, this can involve good old fashioned flip chart work. In a recent session with a client, we explored a simple but powerful distinction in the midst of an exploration around mindset:
Powerful CREATOR VERSUS the powerless VICTIM
He then elaborated and evolved it into a visual metaphor that resonated deeply. For him, there are two lanes he can be in, in any moment:
a) The CREATOR lane, which he coined the VICTORY LANE, where he has ‘won before he has already begun’. This is the unstoppable lane where we are in flow, obstacles are dealt with power and grace, productivity is high, communication occurs with ease and creativity and innovation flow. Yes, the lane where we are at our very best, where it is as if we are being lived, the river is flowing, we are cruising, and we can choose to put our foot down when we want to. Oh to live in this lane all the time…
b) The VICTIM LANE, where progress is slow, life owns us, we often feel stuck, molehills become mountains, overwhelm is never far away and we are at the mercy of our feelings. In this lane we can feel powerless, a victim of circumstances, or we grind our way through, which creates its own pressure, as if it is all truly on us. The consequences are stress, burnout, anxiety, overthinking and everything that goes with this state of being. This can lead us to self-medicate or distract ourselves in an effort to ‘be okay’, to get through. It is a bumpy ride in this lane, when it seems that life is ‘coming at you’.
And what stands between these two lanes?
In this metaphor there are sensory rumble strips between the lanes, which are there to tell us we are straying from our CREATOR lane, an early warning indicator that we are veering off course. Yes, it is wonderful when everything is flowing and is effortless, but there are times when we take on too much, life deals us a tough hand, or we are simply pushing too hard. We all have our own unique compass that tells us when we are straying off track. For many, it is embodied, our body keeping the score, physical tension and the classic signs of stress including not being able to ‘switch off’. For others it is a very busy mind, the internal critic ever present, evaluating, critiquing, judging and generally giving us a hard time.
Seeing the early signs is the trick for getting back in the creator lane. Our feelings are a brilliantly designed navigation system once we develop more spacious understanding of how our mind and body works.
Yes, we can build the habits, systems and support networks to help us stay in the creator lane more of the time. And yes, it is being okay with being stuck in the victim lane that can create a gentler relationship with life.
But it is through self-awareness that we can ‘get back on track’ with more ease and far less efforting.