BEING FULLY HUMAN – THE ROUTE TO TRANSCENDENCE

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Both the wonderful and the challenging aspect of being a coach is in the exploration of what it takes for human beings to thrive. So much ‘information’ and so little time.

In my recent deeper dive into ‘Flow’, where I get very narrow on the topic, I began digging into the history behind flow which can be considered a ‘transcendent experience’ sitting alongside terms such as peak experience, religious experience, mystical union, satori, cosmic consciousness and mystical experience.

In my research on how flow connects to wellbeing and flourishing I came upon the work of Abraham Maslow who most of you will have heard of in reference to ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’, which is usually represented as a pyramid, with physiological and safety needs at the bottom and ‘self-actualization’ at the peak.

Well, it so happens that Maslow did not actually come up with the pyramid schema! This was the work of management consultants translating his work in a manner that they considered could best be taught in the corporate world.

And now, the brilliant Scott Barry Kaufman has completed updated the model, building on the late work and unpublished writings of Maslow, to create a new metaphor:

THE SAILBOAT

I saw this and thought – wow! I often use the metaphor of setting sail in my group coaching and resilience webinars, so it immediately resonated.

Kaufman elaborates the metaphor as part of the much-recommended book Transcend where Maslow’s model for understanding the human condition is comprised of a boat where:

  • The body of the boat is comprised of the inter-related needs of Safety, Connection and Self-esteem. These are our needs for SECURITY.
  • The sails are comprised of our needs for Exploration, Love and Purpose. These are our needs for GROWTH.

Without the sail, we are mere surviving. But to live ‘the good life’ we need to open to setting course in direction with no specific destination, on a voyage of discovery, riding the stormy seas and winds of life, risking being vulnerable and exposure. We must be willing to open our sails, to take risks, to venture into the unknown, in our quest for growth, as part of our higher purpose in life.

This, Kaufman argues is fundamental to the paradox that is ‘transcending’, where we experience unity and harmony with oneself and the world.

Or as he calls it:

Being Fully Human.

There is so much to unpack and explore through this metaphor and I will be writing about it again soon.

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO FLOURISH?

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Working as a coach is a lifelong journey of exploration and discovery of new ways of looking at what it takes for the human organism to thrive, and in the words of Martin Seligman, to flourish. Positive psychologist Dr. Lynn Soots describes flourishing as the following:

“Flourishing is the product of the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and happiness through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.”

The PERMA model first proposed by Martin Seligman sought to explain what contributes to a sense of flourishing. The five factors in this model are:

  • Positive emotions
  • Engagement
  • Relationships
  • Meaning (and Purpose)
  • Accomplishments

As a coach I work on all five of these dimensions with my clients.

I have a particular interest in the dimension ‘engagement’, which is closely related to the concept (and phenomena) of ‘Flow’ on which I run regular workshops.

In my experience, without experiencing flow, we cannot flourish. Although we can experience high levels of flow but not be flourishing. This may sound contradictory but let me explain by example. Accessing flow states can occur in any dimension of my life, such as:

  • In my 121 work as a coach, where I am fully absorbed and rapt in the world of my client, seeing from their view of the world, present to my own intuition, dancing in the moment, creating space for insight.
  • In my writing and creativity, which usually peaks in the 6-9am window of time, where I mono task and absorb myself in ‘deep work’, where time flies and the words and ideas seem to flow through me.
  • In my hobbies such as gravel biking, golf and running, where I stretch myself and ‘enter’ the zone, in particularly where I am at my skills / change goldilocks sweet spot (just out of my comfort zone).
  • In my public speaking and facilitation where I am working with what the audience bring to the room through question and challenge, trusting my abilities and capacity to work with what emerges to facilitate learning and insight.

All of the above examples help foster positive impact on the other dimensions of PERMA, reflecting the intertwined nature of such a psychological model.

The contradiction? Well, I could spend half my life up a mountain, experiencing high levels and prolonged periods of flow in an extreme sport hobby, but neglect the other dimensions of my life, thus may well not be flourishing.